it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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