Non-Jews are for practice
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
