How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
