Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Randomize
