Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
