I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
