Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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