Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
