You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
