real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
