I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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