who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
