Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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