so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fuck appropriateness.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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