Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
