I wish I could teleport
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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