the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
