If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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