How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize