If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
farters have to be the big spoon...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize