Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
