Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
