I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
