He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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