Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
