you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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