you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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