I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
