I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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