I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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