no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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