I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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