looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
