I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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