i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
