yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
