His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
