I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?