We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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