What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
