we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize