Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Two words: blizzard sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
