sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
