She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize