how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My liver just had a heart attack.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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