i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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