as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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