ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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