At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
