He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
