Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
