Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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