He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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