I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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