considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
