so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
