She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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