I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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